What NOT to do in a Movie Theatre

Going to the movies is quite possibly one of my favorite things to do.  Sure with the economy in shambles the cost of a movie ticket can be frightening, but I still reach deep down in my pockets and pay the costly ticket price.  Attending 10:00 AM movies on Saturday and Sunday is a way to avoid high ticket prices.  Despite the high price of tickets (and the overpriced Sweetarts which I ALWAYS buy), I'll never stop going to the movies.  It's really not the ticket prices that gripe me.  Nothing gets me angrier than getting to the theatre early to pick my seat and enjoy a great flick, only to have it ruined by the following types of people.

Sometimes I wonder how so many people in the world don't have common manners.  Do not talk while you're in a movie theatre (Or at a play, the opera...there's no need for me to go on)!  Common courtesy should tell you that you are NOT the only person sitting in the movie theatre.  How on earth is it okay for you to talk to your neighbor while everyone else is sitting quietly and enjoying the film?  Furthermore, do not answer phone calls while you're in the movie theatre.  There is nothing more rude than someone answering a phone call and continuing to have a conversation while ignoring the, "Shhhh's" coming from everyone around them.  I did not pay to listen to you narrate the movie nor do I feel like listening to your personal conversation.

As I mentioned above, I always buy candy at the movies.  Normally I buy sweetarts, a safe bet for noiseless consumption.  However, sometimes I buy Sour Patch Kids or Jelly Bellies; they come in those thick plastic bags that have to make noise every time you touch them.  Do everyone else in the theatre a favor and plan ahead if your snack is a noisy one.  For example, when I buy Sour Patch Kids, I empty them from the plastic bag before the movie starts so everyone in the theatre doesn't know that I'm eatting the damn things.  I do not care to listen to you wrestle with your candy bag for ten minutes during the movie, thank you.  Open it quickly and get it over with!

On most movie going days I arrive early.  Sure there are days when I have to stay at work late and arrive at the theatre in the nick of time, but 99% of the time I like to arrive at least twenty minutes early.  Arriving early allows me to take my time at the snack bar, use the bathroom if needed, and find a suitable seat.  It gripes me when people enter the theatre when the previews have started, and even more when the movie has started!!  I understand that sometimes you get caught in the line for popcorn, and it's not entirely you're fault that you're late, but for the love of Alfred Hitchcock shut the hell up and be quiet when you enter the theatre late!  I don't care nor do I want to know the reason why you're late.  The fact of the matter is that you're late and you're annoying everyone else in the theatre until your ass is in a seat.  Some movie theatres don't allow you to enter the theatre after the movie has started and they allow you to select your seat when you buy your ticket!

Okay, okay, before you go ahead and yell and scream that "parents deserve a night out too," please let me explain.  I do not find it appropriate for parents to bring a baby (or young children) to inappropriate films full of violence.  I get that your baby doesn't understand what's going on, but the loud KABOOM of a truck blowing up is clearly going to make your baby cry.  Good parenting, really.  I'm sure that that loud noise waking your baby is a totally appropriate sound for his ears.  Please think about the other people at the film who do not want to spend two hours listening to your baby cry.  Perhaps it's time to find a babysitter?  If funds don't allow a babysitter, perhaps renting movies is the way to go in order to respect the silence that other movie goers deserve (and except).  Stick to children's movies if you want to bring a baby.  At least in that theatre every other movie goer will also have a screaming child; you'll fit right in.

Texting makes noises.  It's not silent by any means.  Every letter, space, and exclamation point you type into your blackberry makes a sound.  As if the clickety clacking of you texting isn't bad enough, just in case you didn't know, your phone emits light.  Since movie theatres are a dark place, any little bit of light is extremely noticeable.  Maybe it's just me, but I get distracted easily when I see someone texting in a movie theatre.  It's super annoying when I'm watching the tense climax of a film and then the person in front of me insists on texting with the girl sitting four chairs down from her for the remainder of the flick.  Is that text so important that it couldn't wait half an hour?  No, it's not.  If something was that important you'd clearly walk out of the theatre and deal with it in private.  Turn your damn phone OFF.  No one will miss you that much for the hour and a half that you're unreachable. 

I once went to a movie with a friend who left every single item of trash on and around her seat.  As we were leaving I said, "Grab your popcorn bucket, we'll throw it out."  "No," she said.  "They hire people to do that for me."  WHAT?!  She was absolutely serious and I let it go.  If she hadn't known common courtesy at the age of twenty one, I figured there was no sense in arguing about it with her.  Okay, I admit, I don't pick up the popcorn that I let fall on the floor after the movie; however, I do take the time to gather my empty Sweetart box and soda cup and toss them in the trash.  Is that really so hard?  No, it's not.